Sunday, 10 February 2013

Advice on taking advice

From the title I guess you could say this is advice-ception.

The human mind is an amazing thing, it can do a million operations at a time, we can think, dream plan ahead with this amazing tool, yet our minds also hate change and do whatever they can to find fault with the world and not with ourselves.

As a species we don't do well with taking advice, because we are too used to blaming other people for any bad situation we are in, its easy to find faults in them, finding faults in ourselves? uhh, we don't have faults to find anyway remember?

Still we do like to ask for advice when in a tight spot, we want to hear what other people say and how they can help us, the problem with asking for advice is after we hear it, we almost always dismiss it, believing we know best and ignoring what other people have to say.

We're not perfect, everyone says that easily, its something we all heard " nobody is perfect" yet for some reason we still think we know better than anyone else.

Listen to the message, not the messenger.

One reason I personally don't listen to people is I tend to ignore what they are saying, and focus on the person saying it instead. They can be telling me real solutions to what I'm going through, but instead of listening to their advice I instead focus on the faults of the person talking and reach the conclusion that if they have problems themselves, why should I listen to them?

The best personal example I can think of is when it comes to driving, I'm the only one in my family who drives which means I will be driving in any sort of family gathering or event, and whenever one of those happens someone will point out some flaw I have while I drive.

" Signal earlier"
" Put more space between you and other cars"
" Slow down, we're not in a rush"

Is any of the above bad advice? no it all makes sense, but instead of thinking about what they say my mind automatically goes " they cant drive, why should I listen to them? they don't know what they are talking about".

Yet I might avoid an accident if I just listen to such basic advice without getting full of myself.

Judging the messenger and not the message is the easiest way of ignoring advice, if a serial killer said " Killing is bad" most of us would go " who is he to tell us that?" instead of just agreeing with the simple fact that killing is indeed a bad thing.

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