Sunday, 12 June 2011

What is shallow?

Well lets start with what the dictionary defines as shallow.

It usually means a man/woman who only judges by looks and not by personality. 
Personally I believe it's a term that is massively overused. Is it so wrong to judge a person for their looks and try to get some information about them through how they dress/look?

So if I judge the person above as someone I don't want to date, does that make me shallow? I'm not factoring in her personality of course, she might be the nicest woman in the entire world, she might be funny, smart, kind, caring, understanding and athletic..... well probably not very athletic but lets say she's full of positive traits, yet I am not attracted to her, am I shallow? does that make me a bad person because I judged her based on looks? hmm.

A lot of (wo)men are called shallow because they aren't willing to date someone unless they are of a certain level of attractiveness, we call these people shallow because they don't give a chance to people who Do want to date them ( but might not be attractive enough for them )but instead run off and try to find someone else, someone better looking, how shallow.

Yet I don't find that a bad thing, is it wrong to pursue what you want? If we compare people to jobs and everyone has a dream job and wont settle for something else, is it so different with people? if you want the person you will spend the rest of your life with to be attractive, is that a bad thing? is it Shallow?

But what if the person You like doesn't feel the same way about you? Ahh, you ask them out and they say no, That's so shallow of them, they didn't want to date me so of course the fault is with them, how rude, how hurtful, how shallow.

Now the shoe is on the other foot, we are judging others for things we have all probably done in our life, we judge them for rejecting now, for making us feel bad, and to get back at them we call them shallow, only interested in looks.

But I am drifting from my point here, and that is that few people are truly shallow, the rest of the people just want to be with someone they think completes them and looks are only skin deep yet that's what brings us to people, that's what makes us get close to them, but after we get close we find out there is so much more to them then just a pretty face, they have their own interests and hobbies, their own problems and pains, their own history and dreams, and we spend so much time with them we forget about their looks and focus on the things we cant see, the things that really matter underneath....

I don't think that's shallow at all ^.^